Feeling That Way
Opened my eyes to a new kind of way All the good times that you saved Are you feeling, You feeling that way too Or am I just, Am I just a fool
When the summer’s gone She’ll be there standing by the light Once she’s been to where she’s gone to She should know wrong from right
A new road’s waiting, you touched my life Soft and warm on a summer’s night You’re the only one, the only one I love The lovely one, I’m thinking of
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I spend alot of time these days analyzing what I am thinking or feeling at any given moment. When I feel a certain way, I try to understand why. Not the why on the surface, but the true, deeper meaning of what I am feeling. What I find is that this is very hard, but is getting easier. Its sort of like my own little therapy session in my head in which each answer I give is then followed by another question and the answers get broken down to their smallest form, and at that point the real answer seems juvenile. Feeling upset about something that in all reality has no real bearing on anything beyond the moment in time it is happening is not epic, as we have all realized that to some degree in our lives. But, what I am saying is that I have gotten to that realization in every situation that I analyzed. Each moment that I arrive at that realization I am amazed, and I am sure that if someone was watching me they would see me turn my head to the side, and wrinkle my brow, and wonder what light had just gone in my head.
Through this process I have worked to understand one very clear trait of mine, and that is the need to always be accomplishing something, and the why behind it. The joy of getting something done, or the looming cloud over my head when I have something I need to do but haven’t are very real things in my life, and things that consume me. I want to change this. The next step in this journey is this one, and a tough one.
I have accomplished some real big things in the last couple weeks, but am wanting more. I try to reflect and list the things I have accomplished to myself and then talk myself into appreciated myself for those things. I got to my gym finally, I have been working out fairly regularly (but not enough, see how I do that?), I chose the name of my new business, I bought the domain name, and registered in with the State, and the list goes on. After this reflection I am good for a bit, and then my mind goes to the next thing on the list, and me fighting back saying “Stop! just take the time to enjoy these accomplishments, and know that things will happen as they do, and that the joy of life is right now, its not on or in that list!”